Letters to My Younger Self

Letters to My Younger Self…

It was the best of times… it was the most awkward of times…

If you could write a letter to a younger version of yourself, what would you want to say? In every stage of life, I wish I had had a little sticky note from the older, more secure version of myself at every tough moment, heartbreak, cat fight, or rumor mill explosion. But, that’s life- you live and you learn. Still, wouldn’t it be nice to go back and give the reassurance and encouragement you so desperately needed during those times?

Here, we share with you what we would like to say…

Elementary School:

Dear young Brittany,

You are so smart- and you have so much to give the world. You’ve moved a lot with your family- and these kids don’t know you yet. Don’t let that stop you. You will make incredible friends soon! Girls can be very, very mean. I know it’s hard to ignore them- but please, please ignore them. You have such a good heart- don’t let them change you. I love you- and you have an amazing future ahead of you. I know it’s hard to see past always being the new girl- but it won’t always be this way. CHIN UP! (p.s.- keep reading like you do now- it’ll pay off one day).

Please don’t worry- that haircut will grow out. You are not stuck with those bangs and the bowl cut forever!! You actually get decent at doing your hair, but ponytails are always a good plan B.

Just a little piece of advice- don’t let anyone tell you it’s a good idea to steal a mini bag of m&ms off the teachers desk. Not only will you get caught- but you will feel guilty for  a really, really long time.

love you- Future Brittany

Dear young Tricia,

You are such a great, original kid. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re weird or different. You are quirky, and that is something that will stay with you forever, and for good reason. Being quirky will help you make friends with so many different types of interesting people, and it will be something that your family and close friends will always love about you, so embrace it. Keep working hard for those A’s. That motivation will really pay off for you one day.

Keep reading, be nice to your friends, and enjoy being young. It’s not time to grow up yet. (But don’t worry… when you do grow up you’ll still love Star Wars just as much as you do now. Even if you don’t admit it very often.)

One last thing, you have some wonderful teachers. Tell them thank you and that you appreciate them. One day you’ll be a teacher too, and you’ll remember how much each one of them meant to you.

Love, “Grown Up” Tricia

Middle School:

Dear young Brittany,

You’ve really come such a long way. You finally found your way to cheerleading and you’ve made some really awesome friends. Take time to look around and appreciate this life- you’re settled- YOU GOT YOUR WISH! I’m so happy for you!

Please remember what it was like when you were younger and you weren’t always part of the popular crowd. You’ve made some great friends, and you can make more by continuing to be a good person. Do you see anyone that might feel left out? Make her feel welcome- invite her along! This will give you such a great feeling, I promise.

I see that you’ve started dating. Yeah, nothing serious yet. That’s good- keep it that way. Be a kid for as long as you can. I know you want to feel more adult- but those days will come soon enough. Keep hanging out at the skating rink. Focus on yourself and your friends. Boys will come and go- but friends and family are so incredibly important (trust me!!). Be confident- I’ve said this before, but you have so much to give the world. Please focus less on popularity and boys- and take this time to strengthen your friendships and just enjoy being a kid!!

Here’s a huge piece of advice. Write NOTHING in your diary. Your mom will read it and she will tell your dad. And that’s just awkward.

love you- Future Brittany

Dear boy-crazy middle school Tricia,

I see you’ve given up your tomboy phase. Don’t you look cute in those girly clothes! I see the boys have noticed as well, and that you notice the boys noticing. Here’s my advice: have a “boyfriend”, that’s ok. But don’t fall into the trap that every other girl seems to have fallen into. Don’t feel like you constantly have to have a boyfriend. Have fun with your girlfriends, too. Your heart has room in it for more than one best girl friend at a time.

I know, I know, girls can be catty and there’s still quite a bit of tomboy in you that doesn’t want to put up with it, but your first real best friend will move away to New Mexico in 7th grade, and your second real best friend will go to a different high school than you. Both of those events will be devastating, but I promise you’ll get through it. You make some awesome best friends in high school and college. For now, maybe broaden your horizons a bit and go to an extra sleepover or two. You are missing out on being friends with some other really sweet girls. And stop writing notes to boys during every class period. You’ll see how silly this is later on.

Speaking of boys, ignore those terrible ones that make fun of you. You’ll get braces in high school and no one will ever make fun of your crooked teeth again. On the contrary, you’ll get nothing but compliments on your teeth for the rest of your life, because you’ll never forget those boys’ taunts so you’ll wear your retainers religiously. They don’t end up amounting to much once they grow up anyway, so they’ll get what’s coming to them :-).

C-YA, LYLAS, TTYL, G2G -Older Tricia

(Oh the awkwardness)

High School:

Hey high school Brittany!

Wow. We’ve really grown up, haven’t we? We’re driving! and a t-top Firebird!! Please appreciate her-- because one day you’ll have to sell her, and you will miss driving her so much! Some of the girls have been by your side since the 5th grade. Guess what? Some of your friendships will last through it all- high school, college, and beyond. That doesn’t mean they won’t require attention. Please remember what I have told you before- please focus your energy on yourself and your friends. Boys will continue to come and go- but friends will remain (if you are good to them).

Speaking of boys. There’s an extremely strong chance that you have probably fallen in love for the first time. Appreciate this time- you’re only young once, and you chose a very special person to spend this milestone with. Also, please continue to be a good person. I’ve told you to remember that great heart of yours. You haven’t truly been hurt yet- but you wouldn’t like it. Be nice to the men you date. Do not run over people just because you can. It does not make you cool- it makes you cruel- and you will spend years regretting your behavior.

Something that is important for both you and your girlfriends to remember- no boy is worth ruining a friendship over. I know protocol says if a girl has relationships with your ex that you have to yell and talk about her. But you love her- and she will regret it. Try your best to maintain your friendships. Everyone is young and dumb at some point. You’ll miss the friendships you can never get back. Just please keep this in mind. Also, there will be times when your friends will be cruel to those who have wronged them. Do you think you could remind them about lost friendships? Don’t get me wrong- betrayals can absolutely suck. And you do have a right to be upset. However, maybe you should all focus more on having fun and being young- and maybe, just maybe, you should hold these cheating boys accountable just as much as you do the girl. Yes, one of your very best friends will betray you and the entire school will show up in the parking lot when she stands outside crying and begging for your forgiveness (I mean, you loved him), but when you forgive her- please work harder on your friendship after that. Because after some time, it can never be mended quite the same. Many of your closest friends will have experiences like these- help them through it, and be the glue for your group.

Be more confident. Spend less time hiding who you are and more time celebrating you. One day, you will appreciate the nerd inside of you- I wish you would let her out sooner in life. She’ll lead you to some of the most incredible friendships in the future.

One more piece of advice- maybe you shouldn’t try to pass for 26. There’s no way anyone will believe you- and neither will the cops. ;-)

Much love, older Brittany

Dear high school Tricia,

Well look at you. You have made all kinds of new friends that you never thought you’d be capable of making at this big high school. You’re driving, you have a serious boyfriend, you’re still making great grades, and you’re beginning to come out of your shell of shyness. You’re doing a good job, but you could use a little guidance.

About the driving thing, tell your parents thank you for the car that you’re driving. Neither of your sisters had that nice of a car when they started driving. Yeah, the A/C is broken, it wasn’t made in this decade, and the fan belt squeals so loud that people turn and look as you leave school, but don’t be such a brat about it. Having that car will make you appreciate every other car you drive for the rest of your life. You end up making it pretty cute, adding your own personal touch to it. You’ll smile everytime you see hawaiian print seat covers or a lei hanging from the rearview mirror of a car for the rest of your life. Oh, and make sure your doors are always locked. You’ll really miss that giant case of cds that get stolen.

On the boyfriend thing: Be nicer to that first real boyfriend you have. He really cares about you and you’ll want to break his heart not once, but several times. Break up once, and then move on. If you don’t, you’re definitely burning bridges with not only him but his friends too.

Then there’s your next real boyfriend. Isn’t he great? He’s so much fun, you love his family, and he’s crazy about you. You’re definitely going to stay together forever, right? Wrong. He’ll break up with you. He’ll break your heart. You’ll feel like you’re never going to recover from it. Go ahead. Cry. Tear up his pictures. Swear you’re never going to talk to him again. But just hang on, that story gets much better later on.

About your grades and your shyness: I have no idea where you got the idea that being smart is not cool, but you need to let go of that mess. I think back on all the times you knew the answer in class, but were too scared to raise your hand because you didn’t want to be seen as a nerd and I get so mad at you! Show how smart you are, who cares?! The fact of the matter is that you do not come from the same circles that those popular girls come from, and you will not ever be more than on the periphery of their crew. So stop being so shy in fear of being rejected. Be more confident. Raise that hand and broaden your horizons. Strive more to be friends with all the other theatre kids and less to be part of the “popular crowd”. You’ll be part of that scene when you become a sorority girl. You’ll have your moment, don’t worry. For now, be a nerd. It’s what you’re good at. :-)

-Love, Older Tricia

College:

Dear college Tricia,

See? I told you you’d get to run with the popular girls eventually. You’re a Chi Omega, and you’re loving it. You’re involved, you’re figuring out that balance between college life and your school work, and you’re on top of the world. You’re really doing a great job, but I’ve got one last set of advice for you.

The friends you make during your freshman year will change. That’s natural. Everyone goes through this. You’re only 18 when you come to college, and you are no where near grown up. You will learn a lot during that first year and grow immensely, as will everyone around you. Don’t stress about losing touch with that crew. It happens.

Your first college boyfriend is not all that you think he is. He will break your heart. You will never forget it, but you will get over it. He’s not worth the tears you’ll cry over him, trust me on  that. You have some amazing friends that will pick you back up afterwards. Tell them how much that means to you.

Stay just as involved in Chi O as you are right now. There is absolutely no replacing the memories you are making. You will cherish them forever. Look around and take it all in, enjoy it, and relish every moment of each event that you participate in. Having a college experience like yours is not something that everyone gets.

Working at the pizza place is the best job you will ever have. Seriously. Enjoy it. You’ll never be able to have a beer on the clock while hanging out with such a crazy, funny group of people ever again. It’s the reason you will stay around that college town the summer before your senior year, and the reason you reconnect with your high school boyfriend (yes, the one that broke your heart). He’ll be in town too, and when he tells you how sorry he is and how he’s never stopped thinking about you, it’s not just something he’s saying. He really means it. He knows he was wrong. He’ll tell you he’s never forgiven himself and that he’s still in love with you. You won’t believe him, but he’ll work his butt off to show you. Let him… that part is pretty fun ;-). Most importantly, hang on to him, he’s a keeper.

And oh my goodness, what amazing girl friends you have made. They will be there for you through thick and thin. You will keep in touch and your escapades will continue even after college. But while you’re still there, take the time to appreciate those mornings when you pick each other up for a Sex and the City breakfast, or the afternoons where you just lay around on the couch and watch dumb movies together under the same blanket. One day you’ll all live in different states and you’ll miss these days immensely. Tell these girls you love them as often as possible. Let them hug you (they know how you feel about hugs, but let them do it anyways). They are the very best thing that will come out of your 4 years in college.

XO love and all mine, -Older Tricia

Hey college Brittany,

I am so, so proud of your woman you’ve become so far. You are such an adult already. You’ve seen more in your lifetime than many other girls your age, but you let nothing stop you- and that is inspiring.

Congrats on Chi Omega!! hootie hoooo! Pyramid was a great choice- and look, you’ve already made 3 best friends. Spoiler alert? You will continue to stick with these gals through graduation. Keep doing pyramid- it is really important and you’ll get the most memories from Pyramid night after parties. Dont forget to decorate your jug ahead of time. Also, be careful- always keep up with where your friends are.. and DO NOT cross the road from the fraternity houses. I repeat- DO NOT CROSS THE ROAD! Stay involved.. and maybe branch out a little more. There is in fact more than pyramid to participate in. Even though you feel the need to be perfect- you are still hiding your inner nerd-- and it’s time to set her free.

Speaking of setting your inner nerd free… once you do, your life will change forever. It will be such a relief to see how many deep friendships she leads you to. BE YOURSELF. You are such a beautiful soul.. set her free (I can’t say it enough).

Tricia will convince you that working in a pizza place is awesome.. you don’t last long because you don’t like when a girl tells you that you smell like cheese. But hey, you still get all the benefits of working there- and in that building you will make some of the best memories of your entire life.

I cannot stress to you enough how much you just need to relax and have fun. I still laugh thinking about some of your craziest nights when you stopped thinking about boys and focused on your girls. Life is really good. Enjoy being young.

Boys… there are good boys… and there are bad boys. You will date a lot of boys- please remember what I said about being nice and always being a good person. You get some really great memories and these relationships shape you for the woman you will become.

You think you need the challenge. You’ve always loved a good challenge. You also think you can change someone and turn them into the person you want them to be. You will find someone you care about so deeply that you choose to ignore every. single. red. flag. You will be blinded by this relationship so much so that you will distance yourself from your own friends, and lock yourself into his world. I want to warn you, and tell you to run in the other direction because he will break your heart into so many pieces it’s unimaginable (because you do the leaving, right? not this time). The thing is, I would rather not warn you, because no matter how incredibly TERRIBLE (and I mean, it will be the worst hurt of your life).. there is something left behind from that relationship that is life changing for all the right reasons. And you won’t regret a single second. I want to hug you for surviving this and all the decisions you make along the way!

In this moment, besides hugging your neck, I also want you to look around at your support. It’s amazing isn’t it? It still makes me tear up thinking about all the love that is surrounding you.

Also.. you’ve got this best guy friend/study buddy/ breakfast partner. He makes you smile and he is all things good. Don’t lose contact with this one.. I kind of like him ;), and the story gets even better from here.

Here’s my advice for this moment: Don’t be so angry with your mom. Hug her. Tell her you love her. Try to help her face her battles. Appreciate every single moment with her.

Love yourself, Brittany. Know your worth. You are enough, and you are important. Be true to yourself and be a great friend.

I love you! Love, A few years older Brittany

Wedding day:

Bridal Brittany,

Congratulations-- you now see why I wanted you to take more time for that best guy friend of yours. He is good. Inside and out, he is everything you always needed and never realized. I know, I know, you regret not allowing yourself to fall for him sooner. But because of that, y’all have a beautiful baby boy with your maiden name, and y’all wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your groom came along when you needed him most, as he has done from day one. Only this time, y’all saw each other for something more- and it grew from there. He has never given you a reason to doubt him- and from what I can see so far, he won’t! He is honest, dependable, strong, goofy- and a lot a bit smarta… ;) which is PERFECT for you. Not to mention, he’s like the best cuddler in the world!

You have such a beautiful little family (but hey, I’m a little biased). I am just still so in love with your life. Don’t expect everything to always be perfect, to always have enough money, or for your hubs to always do what you want him to do. Go ahead and accept him for who he is. Once y’all settle into your life together, you will have so many fun, exciting moments together with your little one.

They say “Love is patient, love is kind…” and sometimes you are neither. However, he knows how to put you back in your place and that is one of the million reasons you love him so much. He will continue to be your rock- let him be. Lean on him. and remember to give him a break.

I love you and I am so excited for your road ahead!

Love you, Brittany from only a couple years down the road…

Dear bride Tricia,

Look at all this hard work you’ve done! You planned every single detail of the day and everything looks just like you imagined. Your type-A personality just about killed you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, I know. Your hands have touched every inch of what’s going on that day and the love you put into planning this wedding is obvious. Now, take the time to look around! Take a deep breath and enjoy. Don’t worry about anything else, just focus on your amazing groom and tell your friends and family how much it means that they are there for your special day.

Speaking of not worrying, the caterer will show up. I promise. He will be a little later than you would want him to be, but he will be there well before the ceremony ends. And the food will be amazing. So stop checking out the window and focus more on enjoying your time getting ready with your girlfriends.

Tell your mom how beautiful she looks and how much you love her. I know your relationship with her has not been as amazing as it once was, but this is the beginning of the big turn-around you both have been longing for. From now on you will be closer than ever. Tell her what an amazing mother she has been to you. Give her an even longer hug than you do before you leave for your honeymoon.

Tell your dad THANK YOU about 700 more times. He made all this possible and stood out in the heat in a tux, with a broken wrist which he delayed surgery on so that he could be there, and never complained once. He’s the true definition of a wonderful daddy. By the way, I still stand by your decision to not have a father-daughter dance. No one needs to see you both ugly cry for 3-4 minutes. Use his wrist as an excuse and no one will be the wiser ;-).

Next, look at your beautiful bridesmaids. You are so lucky to have such strong, caring women standing beside you. Coming from your older self down the road, you made wonderful choices in them that you would make again today. They are your role models, conscience, memories, laughter, and everything sweet in your life. Tell them thank you too, for all the time they’ve invested over the last year, not to mention the money as well. Most importantly, tell Ann and Brittany how that day could not have happened without them. They truly are wonder women.

Now we come to your wonderful groom. Goodness, isn’t he handsome?! I’m so proud of you for not having a “first look”. That look on his face as you walk down the aisle is the only first look you will ever need. His vows are beautiful. Relish them. And you get through yours just fine, don’t worry. You will cry, but you’ll get through them. (A word of warning: you are afraid that Tony will cry during your vows and it will throw you over the edge, but it’s not him you should worry about, it’s your father-in-law! He loves you two so much, he can’t help it. Give him extra big hugs after the ceremony for everything he does that day and for always loving you no matter what.)

That song that you and Tony love so much, “I Thought I Loved you Then” will mean more to you each year that goes by. As much as that man standing in front of you means to you right now, you will fall more in love with him every moment you are married. He is your best friend and always will be. No experience will ever be as much fun without him as it is when you experience it together. You will look around at other couples now that you are married and wonder why no one else is as in love as the two of you are. You may think that is just a “honeymoon phase”, but the best news is that it’s not! That feeling will just grow stronger. You’re at the beginning of so many wonderful adventures. You thought the trip to Disney World was fun when he proposed? You just wait til you visit Jamaica. Then Asheville. Then you’ll go on your biggest adventure yet and move away together to start a new life, and the two of you will always have the best time as you do it.

For today, dance with him a little longer, hug him a little tighter, and tell him that he means the world to you. I know words can’t express how you really feel, but that will do for now. He knows.

Love you,

Tricia from four amazing years down the winding road.

We hope you've enjoyed this glimpse in to our memories. Let us know if you relate! Thanks for reading :-)